Fetch, Dog

Me:  "Hey Dog."
Dog:  "What's up, asshole?"

Me:  "Bring me your ball and let's play fetch."
Dog:  "Fuck off, I'm tired."

 Me:  "Tired? From your grueling schedule of eating, pooping, sleeping, and licking your own doggy vagina? You're a fucking dog. Play some fetch."
Dog:  "Yeah.... No. No fetch today. I'm subbing in rug pooping for fetch today."

Me:  "Don't poo on the rug."
Dog:  "What? My day won't be complete unless I do."

Me:  "I hate you so much sometimes, Dog."

Dog:  "Likewise, bitches."

More Shenanigans with TSA-Approved Pet Travel Luggage

The inner liner cover of Dog's TSA-approved pet travel luggage ended up in one of the boxes marked 'bedroom'. Whilst unpacking said box, I found it, dropped it on the ground and continued to sort and organize.

I then heard a 'whap-whap-whap' noise coming from behind me...

Yes, that is my genius dog, who managed to shove her head into the liner cover and continued to walk about with it on her head.

Sigh...

Raspberry Finger Puppet

DVD Dog

Statue of Liberty Dog

The final remnants of boxes being put to good use...

Dog Hates Moving

Moving sucks.

Dog is mirroring the amount of enthusiasm that I have for moving.

Me:  "Hey Dog."

Dog:  "What."

Me:  "How do you like your first moving experience?"

Dog:  "Fuck off."

TSA-Approved Pet Travel Luggage

Dog is fucking hilarious. 

This is what I returned home to after being away for a good portion of the afternoon:

No, I didn't leave the top unsecured.

Yes, that is Dog managing to get her head stuck trying to escape her TSA-approved pet travel luggage.

No, Dog wasn't panicking whatsoever.

Yes, Dog had succeeded once before escaping her TSA-approved pet travel luggage in the same fashion.

Dog:  "Nothing to see here, folks, move along..."

Me:  "You're fucking hilarious, Dog."

Dog:  "You're such a dick. I hate you so much."

Me:  "Would you like a hand there?"

Dog:  "No, no, I'm cool. It's like a sunroof. I'm awesome."

I Love Wasting Time and Being Unproductive

I'm supposed to be packing.

Look What I Found

Dog:  "Look what I found outside."

Me:  "That's nice. Leave it out there."

Dog:  "But I found it. It's mine. I must bring it inside to protect it from being abducted by other dogs."

Me:  "It's a fucking stick. There's millions of them out there."

Dog:  "Yeah, but this one is mine. Therefore, special and irreplaceable."

Me:  "I don't want it in here because you're going to splinter it to a zillion pieces and I'll have to vacuum it up and then pick wooden splinters out of my feet."

Dog:  "...So that's a yes, then?"

Me:  "I hate you so much."

Meet Dog

This is my dog.

When she does shit like this...

I don't feel bad doing stuff like this to her...

Frog Dog

Central Market Paper Bag Dog

 (The ear holes I cut out really didn't serve it's purpose.)

Moustachioed Dog

Clothes Hanger Dog

Central Market Paper Bag Dog Part II

Moving Plastic Wrap Dog

Paper Pirate Hat Dog

Dog-in-a-Box

Bankers Box Dog with Aluminium Foil Hat

Bankers Box Dog Sans Aluminium Foil Hat

Bubble Wrap Babushka Dog

Smart Water Dog

Smart Water Dog Part II

Chewed Up Rope Bone Dog