Dog: "Look what I found outside."
Me: "That's nice. Leave it out there."
Dog: "But I found it. It's mine. I must bring it inside to protect it from being abducted by other dogs."
Me: "It's a fucking stick. There's millions of them out there."
Dog: "Yeah, but this one is mine. Therefore, special and irreplaceable."
Me: "I don't want it in here because you're going to splinter it to a zillion pieces and I'll have to vacuum it up and then pick wooden splinters out of my feet."
Dog: "...So that's a yes, then?"
Me: "I hate you so much."
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