Dog's New Stick

 Me:  "I see you, Dog. What did I say about sticks in the house?"

Dog:  "What are you talking about? It's the pattern on the rug you see, not an actual stick."

Me:  "Really? A 3-dimensional pattern, eh? This is a magical rug since you pooped on it, eh?"

Dog:  "Hey, hey, check it out. Do I have something in my teeth?" 

 Me:  "I hate you, so much, Dog.  So much..."

 Dog:  "Nonsense."

Dog:  "Check out this new trick I taught myself... First you see the stick... Then...

ABRACADABRA!!!!!"

 Dog:  "The stick magically disappears! Where's the stick? Haha, this rug is for so much more than just pooping on!"

Me:  "You're such a jerk, Dog."

Bread Corgi

Me:  "Hey, Dog, you have a little something on your face."

 Dog:  "I hate you, so much."

Me:  "You look awesome, Dog. The bread frame makes you look quite distinguished."

Dog:  "It does?"

Me:  "Absolutely."

Now Kiss...

Dog:  "Yes... Yes... Now kiss..."

Me:  "Dog, what are you doing with your stuffed animals?"

Dog:  "Nothing! Mind your own business! Look away!!"

Me:  "Perv..."

Dog:  "I learned it from watching you!"

Fatty Ass Dog

Dog:  "I am ninja dog..."

"...Blending in to my surroundings... 

Waiting for the moment to pounce upon my unsuspecting prey... 

Soon, Twitchly, you shall have the fury of Corgi upon you... 

Soon..."

 Me:  "Dog, are you stuck behind the telly trying to retrieve your ball? 

Your fat ass is going on a diet."

 Dog:  "I hate you so much, bitches. Now get me unstuck."