Dog is SUCH an Asshole

Dog has decided to be an asshole since my return.

Has she ever had a shoe-chewing problem in the past? 

No.

Is Dog a total asshole?

Yes.

She instantly pisses her bed before I say anything. 

Then scrambles to the dry side of her doggy bed and shoots me this look:

Dog:  "What, bitches? That's what you get for all the Skype shenanigans."

I hate you. SO much, Dog. SO much.