The Reliant Robin

There's this 3-wheeled car made by Reliant. It's called the Reliant Robin.

See below:

http://bcove.me/qwq0k71i

 So you can imagine the level of excitement that exploded out of me when I saw this in person, out of nowhere, just down the street from where I sleep.

This is what basically happened:

(Initial excitement) Wait a second... Could that possibly be...?

It couldn't be... Wait... Maybe... (Excitement growing even more...) OHMYFUCKINGGODTHISISSOFUCKINGAWESOME!!!!

HOLYFUCKINGSHITTHISISAWESOME!!!!

Skype Dog Part III

Me:  Dog, I can see you. The camera's still on. What is your bed doing in there?

Dog:  What bed? I know not what you speak of...

Me:  You're dragging it out of my sight right in front of me, Dog.

 Dog:  What? What bed, asshole?

Me:  Dog, I see you again. Take your bed back out to the living room.

Dog:  What. The. Shit. How are you doing that???

Dog:  Fine. Back out to the living room. This is close enough, right?

Me:  Why can't you just be a good dog and listen to me? I hate you so much.

Skype Dog Part II

Dog:  I am still not getting this 'Skype' thing. Explain it one more time.

Me:  For fuck's sake, Dog...

Dog:  Haha, syke! I'm kidding. I totally get it.

Dog:  But... Just for shits and giggles, explain one more time...

Me:  Seriously, Dog? It's not that complicated of a concept.

Dog:  Pfffffft. Whatevs. I so get it. I was just playing.

Dog:  ...But if you want to explain it again, I won't stop you...

Me:  You still don't get it, do you? You still think I'm trapped inside the laptop.

Dog:  I hate you, so much. Dick.

Skype Dog

Me:  Hey Dog, how the hell are you?

Dog:  Hey! What's up, asshole? Where the fuck have you been?

Dog:  Wait, more importantly, what the fuck are you doing inside that laptop?

Dog:  Seriously, you're freaking me out. How the fuck did you get in there?
Holy shit, I'M in there, too! How the fuck did I get in there? 

How can I be in there, and at the same time, here...

Me:  Hey Dog, I can't hear you. Move closer to the mike.

Can you hear me now?

Dog:  Wait a second, you're just being a dick. But I'm still so confused... 

How I can be in two places at once... 

Maybe if I rotate my head clockwise even farther...

Me:  You're so ridiculously stupid-cute when you do that.

Dog:  What the shit? Did you see that? The door just closed! 

All this is freaking me out, man... And you're still a dick.

Dog is a Creepster

If I fail to close both doors to the bathroom, this is what I get:

(View from toilet)

Dog:  "Hey. 'Sup? I see you have forgotten 

to close the second door to the bathroom."

Me:  "Go away, Dog."

Dog:  "Whatcha doin' there? Taking a piss? Sweet."

Me:  "Go AWAY, Dog."

Me:  "Stop being a creepster. GO AWAY."

Dog:  "I love front row seats to the toilet show."

Me:  "I hate you, so much, Dog. So much."

Residing in an area of downtown, notoriously known for the masses of popped-collar adorned douche nozzles that frequent the area on weekends in pursuit of drunken debauchery, I have created a "collar for Dog's collar" in celebration of said popped-collar adorned douche nozzles.

How YOU doin'?

All Dog needs now is to perfect the "duck face" and the sideways, backwards peace sign with her tiny little paw.

Dallas Lightning Storm

Regardless of how much I dislike Dallas, they do have some pretty awesome lightning storms there.

Bath Time Birthday Dog

"It's my birthday... C'mon... Pass on the bath? Please?"

 

"I hate you. So much..."

"So much..."

"And then you lock me outside to dry? Blow dry me, bitches!"

"Great birthday gift, assholes."

Dog's New Neighborhood and Happy Birthday to Dog

Dog:  "Yeahhhhhh! What's up, bitches? Welcome to my motherfucking patio!"

Dog:  "And it's my birthday, bitches!
Yeahhh!! It's a celebration!
Time to shit on the rug again!!!"

Dog Shits ON THE RUG

Dog took a shit on the rug. SHE SHIT ON THE RUG. It should be physically impossible, as in defying the laws of physics, for poop so big to come out of a dog so small. She nearly poops her own mass. Physically impossible. Yesterday, she pooped a sphere. Yes, a spherical shaped ball of poo. But back to the matter at hand, sometime during the night, Dog poo'ed on my favorite rug.

Me:  "Why the fuck did you poo on the rug, dog?"
Dog:  "Because the rug was more grass-like than the hardwood floors?"
Me:  "I hate you so much sometimes."