Dog's Stick

Me:  "What the fuck, Dog? You know I don't allow you to bring sticks inside."

Dog:  "But... But..."

 

 

Dog:  "But, I promise I will not splinter it into a million pieces on the rug..."

 

Dog:  "I just want to keep it as my friend. I won't make a mess of it. I swear.

See? I'm just... Sniffing it..."

Me:  "Bullshit, Dog."

Dog:  "Whoa! Did you see that? The stick just exploded into a million pieces!"

Me:  "I hate you so much, Dog."

 

More Stuff on Dog

It's been a while since I've stacked stuff on Dog.

Brown Triangles

Dog has made it clear to me that she does not like the brown triangles in her food.

She eats all the little "meaty" chunks around them.

She licks all the gravy off of them.

Leaving behind only... The brown triangles.

Dog:  "I thought I made it clear that I do not like the brown triangles."

Me:  "Yeah, Dog, I know."

Dog:  "The brown triangles are rubbish. 

How many times must I remind you that I do not like the brown triangles?"

Me:  "For a dog that eats poop, you are quite picky."

 Dog:  "Poop is delicious. Brown triangles are not."

More Stuff on Dog

Dog is ridiculously uncoordinated.

She goes into what looks like a spastic epileptic fit in attempt to catch food I throw at her.

Yet, she has a remarkable ability to balance things on her head.

Dog:  "I hate you..."

Dog:  "Why do you do this to me, assholes..."

 

Dog:  "Seriously? A drink called 'Sac Sac'? 

Are you trying to Special Olympics-slow-pitch-shit 

material for me to make fun of you?"

More Stuff on Dog

Dog:  "I hate this game, bitches."

 Dog:  "It is demeaning to my kind."

Dog:  "Why do you torment me with my own treats?"

Me:  "You're right, Dog, I shouldn't do it with your treats. 

How about with produce?"

Dog:  "I hate you so much."