Dog's Stick

Me:  "What the fuck, Dog? You know I don't allow you to bring sticks inside."

Dog:  "But... But..."

 

 

Dog:  "But, I promise I will not splinter it into a million pieces on the rug..."

 

Dog:  "I just want to keep it as my friend. I won't make a mess of it. I swear.

See? I'm just... Sniffing it..."

Me:  "Bullshit, Dog."

Dog:  "Whoa! Did you see that? The stick just exploded into a million pieces!"

Me:  "I hate you so much, Dog."